Chapter 9
Miscellaneous Thoughts and Ramblings

You know, I was sitting here reading over the first 8 chapters and thinking about what I wanted to write about in the next chapter and it occurred to me that this might be a good stopping point. I think I’ve covered the important stuff. Or at least the stuff you need to know to keep you out of trouble. So, what did we learn ? Well, we know that we always use a stop loss order to protect us from big losses. You will always have losses in the market but the trick is to keep your losses small and the profits will take care of themselves. We covered the dangers of trading on margin. Until you have some experience under your belt I would highly suggest you don’t trade on margin. We covered information overload, penny stocks, snake oil, futures and indicators. I think that’s enough to get you on the right track if you’ll follow the guidelines I’ve laid out. Now, let’s cover some more really important stuff, Southern stuff !

Sassafras is a tree that you’ll only find in the South. You can also take a cutting and get it to root and grow smaller sassafras plants. Years ago people made sassafras tea by steeping the root in hot water. It also has a smell to it that is out of this world, very sweet. ‘Taters are what most people know as potatoes. In the South, they’re called ‘taters. A typical Southern meal would be fried chicken, creamed ‘taters, ‘maters and cat head biscuits. And that would be for dinner or supper, there’s no such thing as lunch in the South. It’s breakfast, dinner and supper. ‘Maters are tomatoes and cat head biscuits are big ole home made biscuits, nice and fluffy and as big as a cat’s head. And all this is washed down with a big glass of cold milk or sweet tea. You haven’t lived until you’ve been to a church get-together where all the ladies bring bowls and bowls and bowls of home made food that was made from scratch. No pre made pie shells or store bought cake icing; it’s all made from scratch by sweet little old ladies that never look at a recipe. They don’t need a recipe, they just know how much of everything to use. The preacher says the “blessing” and then you eat until you feel like your belly is gonna pop. Then you go home and lay down and take a nap 🙂

Pepsi and Coke are both called Coke. If you go to a country store and buy a Pepsi, Coke, Mt. Dew, etc you have bought a bottle of “pop.” If you get a hot dog and chips with your bottle of pop, the person at the cash register would put it in a “poke” so you could “tote” it. And yes, at real country stores they still make hot dogs on the grill, usually fried in fatback grease. So if you’re ever lucky enough to find yourself somewhere in the South in an old fashioned country store that sells home made hot dogs here’s what you tell the person behind the grill. “Lemme have 2 all the way with chips and a coke in a poke, I gotta get home and watch Andy Griffith.”  If you tell ’em your dog is out in the truck, they’ll give you some meat scraps for the dog too. If they don’t have any, you better make dang sure you share your hot dogs with your dog.

And in closing, I’m going to teach you the proper way to make a ‘mater sandwich. You have to have German Johnson ‘maters and they have to be bright red and just slightly soft to the touch. Take 2 slices of Sunbeam bread. Sunbeam is the softest bread in the world. Put a bunch of Duke’s mayonnaise on the bread. A bunch means at least 4 or 5 spoon fulls. The bread should be covered from edge to edge and thick. Now, if you have the right size ‘mater it will only take one slice cause that one slice will cover the bread. And make that slice thick. If one slice of ‘mater doesn’t cover the whole slice of bread, use 2 slices. Now add salt, lots of salt. Screw the blood pressure, just pile the salt on. Now a good dash of pepper. Now put the two slices of bread together and mash it all together. Not real hard, just til the mayo starts to squirt out the sides. Grab a bag of chips, a coke and the remote control and eat like a wild dog !

I hope this book will help you stop losing money. It’s going to take discipline on your part and you’re gonna have to change the way you think. I wish you the best of luck !